Sunday Scribblings #71 Decision

I consider myself lucky in that I do not waffle when making decisions. It’s been my experience that most decisions, if they turn out to be the wrong one, can usually be reversed. My personal decision making criteria is to do what makes me happiest, without harming or inconveniencing other people. If I am faced with too many choices, I make none until the easiest comes to my mind. (Buying breakfast cereal usually falls under that heading.) However, I have been told that because I do not examine a problem from all sides that I am a shallow person, that I need to become deeper in my thinking. I’m not so sure.

I equate pain and misery with deepness of thought. When I was 30, I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma on my stomach. It was removed, along with alot of tissue, and I had no recurrence. Although there was no pain associated with it and no further treatment was needed, I spent many, many sleepless nights playing the what if game and planning my funeral. When I was 40, I had a suspicious lump removed from my left breast that was diagnosed as Lobular Carcinoma in Situ, a precancerous condition. Again, I had no recurrence after surgery and again there was no further treatment required, but I still lay awake at night worrying until my five year anniversary.

So, I’ve had my share of making decisions that I did not want to make. I believe that if I want to look on the sunbeamy side of life, to look for the bliss instead of the wretched, I have earned that right. For me, life is too short to spend it seesawing back and forth about decisions that are not necessarily written in stone. It’s likely that I am deluded, thinking that everything can be rainbows and kittens and puppies, but I prefer it that way.

However, when it comes to making decisions about fabrics for my quilts, I am one of the deepest, most miserable and wretched decision makers that you would ever want to meet.