Conversations Through the Window

HIM — “I’m here to pick up the new lenses that I ordered from you people. ” (You people is always a bad sign)

ME — “Okay, Mr. XYZ — is that eyeglass lenses or contact lenses?”

HIM — “Eyeglass lenses”

(Five minutes later after much rummaging through boxes and trays, no lenses can be turned up in the lab)

ME — “Mr. XYZ, are you sure you ordered eyeglass lenses ?”

HIM — “Yup”

(Back to the lab — more digging through boxes, more peering into trays, still no lenses)

ME — “Mr. XYZ — when did you order these lenses?”

HIM — “Let me check (pulls out cell phone)(has to dial 3 times before he can be heard by the other party) Hey Mrs. XYZ — when did we order your lenses?”

HER — “TWO WEEKS AGO” (I can hear her from five feet away)

HIM — “She says two weeks ago”

ME — “Okay, so they’re for your wife, not you.”

HIM — “Yeah, that’s what I told ya.”

(Which, of course, he didn’t)

Not that it made much difference, back to the lab. Still nothing for either XYZ.

ME — “Mr. XYZ, did you order new frames with your wife’s lenses?”

HIM — “Nope”

ME — “Will your wife be using her old frames for the lenses?”

HIM — “Nope”

(Quietly entering the twilight zone)

ME — “What will she be using to hold the lenses in front of her eyes?”

HIM — “Whaddya mean?”

ME — “If you ordered eyeglass lenses, there has to be a frame to put them into so that you can look through them”

HIM — “Hold on — (out comes the cell phone again)(only has to redial twice this time) Hey Mrs. XYZ where’s the frame for your lenses?”

HER — “OH, DO THEY NEED IT? I’VE GOT IT HERE — I’LL BRING IT RIGHT DOWN“. (Honestly, this woman has pipes like Beverly Sills)

HIM — “She says she has it — she’s going to bring it right down”

Five minutes later — little lady comes in holding a very small contact lens case and hands it to me..

ME — “Oh, it was an order for contact lenses!!”

HIM — “Yeah, that’s what I told ya — you people never listen!!”

Oy.